A Two Scene Radio Play by Selim Tezel
Summer of 1979 Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA-Istanbul, Turkey
Scene 1: (phone rings a long time in the dark then a door opens, Ayse enters with some bags and letters in her hands, picks up the phone)
Mother-
Ayse daughter,….. are you ok?
Ayse-
yes, yes mother (leaves the bags etc on the table)
Mother-
…why have not called me dear?
Ayse-
…i am working two shifts mother i just came home…
Mother-
… i worry about you dear girl
Ayse-
… i know mother, i am sorry
Mother-
how are you darling girl?
Ayse-
as usual, managing,… just fine
Mother-
just fine….?
Ayse-
yes mother just fine….
Mother-
just fine? is this why we have worked hard all these years darling, just to be fine?
Ayse-
….
Mother-
…come home darling, … i am tired of having you so far, so far away
Ayse-
please, please mother, we talked
Mother-
i know, i can’t help it. i miss you
Ayse-
i know mother… i miss you too
Mother-
come then
Ayse-
i cant
Mother-
i will send you money, for your tickets
Ayse-
no mother no it is not a money thing
Mother-
then what then? it has been three years, don’t you ever worry about your mother, who i else do i have left in this world?
Ayse-
please mother, you know, i think of you, …constantly
Mother-
then come home dear
Ayse-
i can’t
Mother-
just for a visit, may be this summer, give me something to look forward to…
Ayse-
may be mother may be later this summer
Mother-
you are just saying that, to get rid of mommy
Ayse-
(smiling) yes mother you are right, as always
Mother-
what can i do?
Ayse-
nothing mother, you know i cannot return, not now
Mother-
when will you get your visa?
Ayse-
still in the works… may be when i get my visa
Mother-
darling girl, i miss you
Ayse-
me too mother…why don’t i call you tomorrow when i am done with work, i am afraid you will get a big phone bill
Mother-
it is ok, i have no other luxury, talking to you is my luxury, once in a while when i can find you..
Ayse-
i am glad you called mother
Mother-
you are not angry
Ayse-
no, no
Mother-
glad to hear, last time i called…
Ayse-
i know, i know i am sorry, i lost my temper, i was too tired
Mother-
i know, i know my temperate little girl
Ayse-
little girl… i wish
Mother-
i wish i could hold you like when you were tiny
Ayse-
and braid my crazy wild hair?
Mother-
braid your crazy wild hair…
Ayse-
… … where did those years go mom? how did we become so separated, so unhappy…
Mother-
you are asking me?
Ayse-
i am just asking… how has life turned against us so badly?
Mother-
… are you lonely my girl?
Ayse-
…
Mother-
do you have friends?
Ayse-
yes, mom, i have friends. Zuhal is still with me at work
Mother-
glad to hear, i like Zuhal, good girl
anyone else? …. any boyfriends yet?
Ayse-
… no mom i don’t have any boy friends yet, i promise you will be the first to know when i have one
Mother-
Ahmet still asks about you, every time i see him
Ayse-
still? silly boy… silly, silly, silly boy (smiling)
Mother-
may be, may be not
Ayse –
say hi
Mother-
i will, i will
Ayse-
i miss him, poor Ahmet, i should have been nicer to him
Mother-
yes you should have been, can i tell him you said this
Ayse-
no! NO! … yes
Mother-
yes?
Ayse-
yes, tell him, i should have been nicer to him
Mother-
and get his hopes up
Ayse-
no, no don’t get his hopes up, i wouldn’t want to hurt him any more, just tell him i said i was sorry, we were children, i did not know any better
Mother-
you were children, beautiful children you were
Ayse-
…. mom
Mother-
yes darling…
Ayse-
… … nothing…
Mother-
what is it honey?
Ayse-
nothing, … nothing
Mother-
….nothing?
Ayse-
…yes, nothing…
Mother-
…did you get my letter?
Ayse-
letter?
Mother-
and your gift…?
(looks at the letters and the small package just picked up from the mailbox)
Ayse-
my gift? something just came today…
Mother-
your birthday is in a few days…
Ayse-
thank you mother, thank you for remembering, i forgot it myself
Mother-
did you open it?
Ayse-
there is a small package here
Mother-
did it arrive ok
Ayse–
yes, yes
Mother-
so?
Ayse-
want me to open now?
Mother-
how will i know if you like it?
Ayse-
may be i wait till my birthday, no?
Mother-
ok but call me when you open your gift
Ayse-
ok mom
Mother-
ok darling
Ayse-
i love you
Mother-
i know… will you think about coming here at least to visit me?
Ayse-
yes mom i will think about it
Mother-
is this a goodbye
Ayse-
yes, mom, for now, i am exhausted, had a long day and night
Mother-
get some rest my poor poor baby
Ayse-
… thank you mom, … good night
Mother-
good night darling girl my sweet Aysecik
Ayse-
….(hangs up)
(Ayse looks at the letter, the gift package, doesn’t open them but put aside on the table. she puts her head between her hands stays like that a long time)
Scene 2: (a few days later, Ayse’s home. Ayse on the phone)
Ayse-
Zuhal…
Zuhal-
yes?
Ayse-
this is … Ayse
Zuhal-
hello, Ayse dear
Ayse-
is it too late to call?
Zuhal-
no, no… i was just reading the Turkish papers i got, …before going to bed
Ayse-
are you tired?
Zuhal-
yes, you?
Ayse-
it has been a long shift
Zuhal-
it has
Ayse-
what is on the news?
Zuhal-
same old, same old
Ayse-
tell me
Zuhal-
are you sure? do you really want to hear?
Ayse-
no, not really
Zuhal-
but?
Ayse-
but…
Zuhal-
you can’t sleep
Ayse-
no i can’t
Zuhal-
i can’t either… are you worried, about anybody back home
Ayse-
just my mom, how about you?
Zuhal-
everyone at my village, i think of them all the time
Ayse-
you are lucky
Zuhal-
lucky?
Ayse-
to have all these people family friends you care about back home, they must also worry about you
Zuhal-
may be, i don’t know
Ayse-
what do they say
Zuhal-
huh?
Ayse-
the papers?
Zuhal-
… top news: killer of that leftist writer you liked Abdi Ipekci,… escaped from prison
Ayse-
… what are you saying? Agca is gone?
Zuhal-
yes
Ayse-
how? HOW? where?
Zuhal-
i don’t know, i don’t know how…
Ayse-
i will be damned
Zuhal-
i knew you would be upset, it is too late, we will be tired tomorrow, we will talk after work, i will bring you the papers, you can read all you want
Ayse-
son of a bitch must have had connections, how the hell one escapes from a maximum security government prison…? huh? how?
Zuhal-
some papers say top officials are involved in the escape
Ayse –
cannot keep a criminal inside four walls. God damn this idiotic, stupid ,stupid country of ours. damn, damn, DAMN it!
Zuhal-
Ayse please
Ayse-
i am ASHAMED, so ashamed to be part of such an incompetent, stupid, lawless nation. i am tired of being Turkish, i am sick and tired of being ashamed that i am Turkish! i am tired of having to constantly hide who i am…
Zuhal-
Ayse, i am begging you
Ayse-
they stole our childhood, our youth is gone Zuhal. we have not seen a day of peace, a day without bloodshed and hatred
Zuhal-
Ayse, please Ayse, you know what you say is not true, please don’t get worked up and besides we are here. we made it, we are safe, we have a chance here
Ayse-
may i be cursed if i ever set my foot back on that senseless, suffocating land again
Zuhal-
Ayse, are you mad? don’t say such things, think of your mother
Ayse-
may this whole pathetic unjust system crumble, crumble to their corrupted heads
Zuhal-
Ayse, it is too late! you are draining me!
Ayse –
(long silence)… dear God, … Zuhal … i am so sorry
Zuhal-
… it is ok, … i know you are upset
Ayse-
…i am, i am but i did not mean to…
Zuhal-
i know. forget it. they will catch him. you will see…
Ayse-
… not until he hurts someone else…
Zuhal-
go to sleep now, i beg you. stop thinking about all this chaos, the politics,…
Ayse-
…the bloodshed?
Zuhal-
we are far, Ayse, we made it, we left all that craziness, behind us
Ayse-
we did, didn’t we?
Zuhal-
we did! we did! sleep now dear girl, sleep, i beg you…
Ayse-
huh, … my mother calls me that “dear girl”… she called me the other day
Zuhal-
… glad to hear, what did your mom say?
Ayse-
how much she missed me…
Zuhal-
see? you have people who love you back home
Ayse-
home? …where is our home, Zuhal?
Zuhal-
where ever you want it to be Ayse, wherever you want it to be
Ayse-
where ever i want it to be… i am so sorry to call this late and…all this
Zuhal-
don’t worry, go to sleep
Ayse-
today is my birthday Zuhal
Zuhal-
i am so sorry Ayse, i should have known, … happy birthday!
Ayse-
it has not been a happy day…
Zuhal –
i know, i will take you out after work tomorrow, how about that? there is a place i know we can get a few drinks and listen to some music
Ayse-
i would like that… now i should leave you in peace so you can get some rest
Zuhal-
what will you do?
Ayse-
mom sent me a gift, i forgot to open it
Zuhal-
you silly, what is it?
Ayse-
here it is (opens the package) some yummy candy and a cassette “Songs of Anatolia”
Zuhal-
how nice! (then starts laughing)
Ayse-
why you are laughing?
Zuhal-
i just had a funny thought imagining you after all the “lovely” things you have said about our “beloved” country, sitting down and listening and enjoying the “Songs of Anatolia”
Ayse-
may be i should just throw it away…
Zuhal-
don’t be silly
Ayse-
i won’t. … i miss mother. we are creatures full of contradictions, aren’t we?
Zuhal-
we sure are
Ayse-
good night Zuhal
Zuhal-
good night, good night dear Ayse girl
Ayse –
in this far away land you are like a sister to me
Zuhal-
happy to hear that
Ayse-
thank you Zuhal, thank you, peaceful dreams…
(Ayse looks at the cassette in her hands for a long time. eats a candy her mom has sent her. gets up and puts the cassette in the cassetteplayer. and curls on the canopy. the music starts (an ethnic Anatolian song such as “Gulazer” by Mubin Dunen) she listens to it for a while, staring at the empty space and at one point she starts crying quietly. then she cries louder, uncontrollably. sounds fade off.)